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What Not to Do During a Divorce

Posted on February 18, 2022

Your divorce attorney is more than a source of valuable information about the divorce process and laws regarding the division of marital assets and child custody in your state.  They are also advocates and guides who can provide you with standards to live by while preparing for and getting through your divorce.

There are many court-ordered mandates to follow during a pending divorce.  However, the following are the unwritten guidelines attorneys share with their clients as to actions to avoid throughout your divorce.  For more information about any of these, speak with an experienced New York divorce attorney.

Don’t Lie

Be honest with your attorney and the court.  Your attorney can only prepare for what they know about.  Lying and attempting to evade or cover up the truth makes you look bad and of poor character.  Also, submitting false information and lying in pleadings and in the courtroom is illegal and subject to court sanctions.

Don’t Take Advice from Anyone but Your Attorney

Do not take legal advice from your spouse, neighbor, best friend, or opposing counsel.  Your spouse and opposing counsel are not on your side.  While those close to you may mean well, your divorce attorney knows the best actions to take to meet your case goals and expectations.

Don’t Post on Social Media

Do not post information about your divorce, dating, children, or spouse on social media.  If you can, stay off social media altogether until after your divorce.  Any information you post may be used against you in court.  Even if it seemed harmless at the time, it could be misconstrued and taken out of context later.

Don’t Send Unnecessary Communications to Your Spouse

Do not send your spouse unnecessary or cruel texts and emails during your divorce.  Doing so makes you look aggressive mentally unstable and could reflect on your ability to parent your children properly.

Don’t Spy On or Stalk Your Spouse

Do not spy on your spouse or follow them around town.  This could result in a protective order and overflow into a custody ruling.

Don’t Destroy Your Spouse’s Property

Do not act out against your spouse’s property.  Destroying your spouse’s possessions could hurt your divorce case and leave you with a criminal conviction.

Don’t Argue to Argue

Do not argue for the sake of argument.  Settle every issue possible and leave only the most difficult to the court.  Drawing out a divorce only increases the expense, time, and stress of the process.

Don’t Have an Affair

Stay away from romantic or sexual relationships during your divorce.  Affairs can affect your bargaining position and weaken your child custody chances during your divorce.

Don’t Rely on Memory

Keep a detailed journal of important dates, events, and happenings.  These may become important later, especially in a custody case.  Memories become fuzzy and harder to recall as time passes.

Don’t Tackle Your Divorce Case Alone

Get help from an experienced divorce attorney in your area.  Divorce attorneys know the laws in your state and can advise you as to how they affect your assets, debts, and children.  Even if you think your divorce terms are agreed upon, ensure anything you sign is fair and enforceable should your spouse choose not to follow the terms as set forth.

At the Law Offices of Vivien I. Stark, we have decades of experience in all areas of divorce and family law.  Let our attorneys guide you through the New York divorce process and procure a settlement or ruling that will meet your divorce needs and expectations.  Contact one of our offices today to schedule your consultation.

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